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World's Oldest Turtle Celebrates 187th Birthday by Stealing a Motorcycle

World's Oldest Turtle Celebrates 187th Birthday by Stealing a Motorcycle
Slow and steady wins the police chase.

Timothy the tortoise was seen joyriding through Florida streets at a blistering 0.8 mph. 'He's earned it,' said his keeper as authorities politely escorted the reptile home. The motorcycle owner received a signed apology shell and lifetime supply of lettuce.

📅 3 days ago ⏱️ 66s read #Turtle#Aging#Absurd
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.