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Woman's 'Soft Launch' Was So Soft Nobody Realized She Was Dating A Mannequin From A Department Store

Woman's 'Soft Launch' Was So Soft Nobody Realized She Was Dating A Mannequin From A Department Store
She posted 47 photos of 'him' in different outfits. The mannequin never blinked. She called it 'mysterious.'

Jessica Softlaunch posted 47 photos of her 'mysterious new boyfriend.' Turns out, it was Derek — a mannequin from Nordstrom's men's section. 'He's a great listener,' Jessica said. 'And he never argues.' Her friends staged an intervention. 'He's not real,' they said. 'He's real to me,' Jessica replied. Derek has since been bought by Jessica's mom. They are now 'living together.' Her therapist is 'concerned but intrigued.'

📅 2 hrs ago ⏱️ 64s read #Dating#Soft Launch#Satire
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.