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Woman's 'Dry January' Failed After 47 Minutes, Now She's 'Moist February' With A Wine Glass

Woman's 'Dry January' Failed After 47 Minutes, Now She's 'Moist February' With A Wine Glass
The 'moist' month has been extended through 'Damp March' and 'Slightly Humid April.'

Amanda Resolution posted her Dry January commitment at 12:01 AM. By 12:48 AM, she posted a wine glass with the caption 'Hydration is key.' She has since renamed the months: 'Moist February,' 'Damp March,' and 'Slightly Humid April.' Her friends have started a support group called 'Amanda's Abstinence Adjacent Journey.' Amanda's doctor has 'stopped asking.' Her liver is 'confused but supportive.'

📅 10 hrs ago ⏱️ 64s read #Dry January#Comedy#Alcohol
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This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.