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🎭 Satire

Woman Says 'I'm Not Looking For Anything Serious' Then Crashes His Car After 3 Dates

Woman Says 'I'm Not Looking For Anything Serious' Then Crashes His Car After 3 Dates
The bumper sticker now reads 'I ♥️ emotional unavailability and also your insurance rates.'

Jessica Chillwell, who explicitly stated she 'wasn't ready for commitment,' has reportedly moved into her situationship's apartment, adopted a cat together, and totaled his car during a 'casual' road trip. 'It just happened,' Chillwell said from his couch. 'We're still not serious though.' The unnamed man has been seen staring into the middle distance at local coffee shops, muttering 'but she said she was chill.'

📅 6 hrs ago ⏱️ 64s read #Dating#Relationships#Satire
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.