Tech Bro Invents Time Machine To Go Back And Tell Himself To Buy Bitcoin At $100

Local tech entrepreneur Brad Ventureton has successfully built a functioning time machine, which he immediately used to travel back to 2013 to tell his past self to invest heavily in Bitcoin. The machine worked flawlessly, and Brad traveled back in time, found his 24-year-old self, and gave him a detailed note explaining Bitcoin's future price trajectory. However, due to a temporal paradox, Brad's past self read the note, invested in Bitcoin, became rich, and thus never became the tech entrepreneur who would build the time machine in the first place. Brad has been stuck in an infinite loop for three weeks, repeatedly traveling back in time only to watch the timeline collapse around him. Scientists at nearby universities say this is 'definitely not how physics works, but also kind of exactly how it works.'