Squirrels Launch Hostile Takeover of Central Park, Issue Acorn-Backed Currency
New Yorkers now paying rent in nuts to fuzzy overlords.
The Bushy Tail Collective has declared independence from human oversight. 'We run this park now,' chattered Supreme Nut Lord Chonk. Tourists report being politely mugged for snacks. The city council is negotiating a treaty involving unlimited peanut butter subsidies.