Sir Snorewell McPillow Invents Pillow That Whispers 'You're Doing Great' Until You Fall Asleep
Users report falling asleep faster and waking up with 'unearned confidence.'
Sir Snorewell McPillow has invented the 'Self-Esteem Pillow,' which whispers affirmations until you drift off. 'You're doing great,' the pillow murmurs. 'Tomorrow will be fine. Probably.' Users report sleeping 'like babies' and waking up 'confused but optimistic.' 'It told me I was capable of anything,' one user said. 'Then I tried to fly. I was not capable of that.'