Sir Snoozealot McPillow Wins Award For Most Hours Slept In A Year, Didn't Show Up To Accept
The award was delivered to his bedside. He hasn't opened it yet. 'Probably next week,' he murmured.
Sir Snoozealot McPillow has won the 'Golden Pillow' award for sleeping 8,760 hours in a single year—every single hour. 'I'm honored,' McPillow said without opening his eyes. The award ceremony was delayed three times because McPillow 'couldn't make it.' A representative accepted on his behalf, reading a pre-written speech: 'zzzzzz.' McPillow plans to defend his title next year by sleeping 'even harder.'