Scientists Discover Plants Have Been Running A Secret Internet Underground, Calling It 'The RootWeb'

A team of botanists has made a groundbreaking discovery: plants have been operating a secret underground internet network for millions of years, which they've named 'The RootWeb.' The network, composed of fungal threads connecting tree root systems, has been transmitting what researchers describe as 'plant gossip, terrible photosynthesis tips, and memes that don't translate to human language.' One tree in Oregon, nicknamed 'The Grandmother Oak,' reportedly has connections to over 47 neighboring trees and serves as a 'hub for local plant drama.' Scientists observed trees literally leaning toward other trees they liked and away from trees they didn't. The discovery has raised ethical questions about whether plants have been judging us this whole time, with researchers noting that 'trees in cities have definitely seen things they wish they hadn't.'