Scientists Confirm Moon Is 73% Paneer Following Chandrayaan Sample Return

A bombshell announcement from the International Lunar Research Collective has sent the dairy industry into complete frenzy. Analysis of samples returned by Chandrayaan-4 reveals that 73% of the moon's composition is a dense, crumbly substance chemically identical to fresh paneer. The remaining 27% is, according to scientists, 'essentially dried whey with some rocks in it.' ISRO chairman Dr. R. Venkataraman told reporters the findings vindicate a 1972 internal memo — long dismissed as a curry-induced hallucination — which proposed the moon was 'basically a giant piece of chenna.' The Indian Dairy Development Board has announced plans to file a patent claim on the moon before China does.