Professor Wobble McWobble Discovers That The 'Snooze Button' Actually Summons A Time Demon Named 'Gary'
Gary has been delaying mornings for decades. 'He feeds on your desire to sleep,' McWobble explained.
Professor Wobble McWobble has discovered that the snooze button is a portal to a time-manipulating demon named Gary. 'Gary likes Mondays,' McWobble explained. 'He makes them longer.' The study found that pressing snooze 'strengthens Gary's power' and that 'Gary is probably why it's still dark outside.' McWobble recommends never using snooze. 'Gary gets stronger,' he warned. 'And he's already pretty strong.'