Professor Stumble McWobble Proves That Toasters Are Secretly Judging Your Bread-To-Butter Ratio
'Too much butter and the toaster sighs,' McWobble explained. 'It's passive-aggressive engineering.'
Professor Stumble McWobble has discovered that toasters have internal scoring systems for toast preparation. 'A golden-brown, lightly buttered slice earns approval,' McWobble explained. 'A burnt, over-buttered slice triggers disappointment.' The study found that toasters 'pop with judgment.' 'Mine gave me a 'C minus' once,' one user admitted. 'Now I'm in toast therapy.'