Professor Stumble McTheory Proves That 'Five More Minutes' Is Actually A Quantum State
'You are both asleep and awake until observed by a spouse,' McTheory explained.
Professor Stumble McTheory has proven that 'five more minutes' exists in quantum superposition. 'Until someone checks on you, you are both sleeping and getting up,' McTheory explained. 'The observation collapses the possibility.' The study recommends 'never being observed.' McTheory's wife reportedly 'observed' him at 11 AM, collapsing his superposition into 'guilty.' He plans to publish his findings 'five more minutes' from now.