Professor Dingle McSpangle Proves That 'I'll Be There In Five Minutes' Is A Unit Of Geological Time
Five minutes, when spoken by someone who is still in bed, equals approximately 47 hours.
Professor Dingle McSpangle has proven that 'five minutes' is a 'relative measurement.' 'If the speaker is horizontal,' McSpangle explained, 'five minutes means 'I haven't moved yet.''' The study found that 'I'm leaving now' actually means 'I'm thinking about leaving' and 'I'm on my way' means 'I just woke up.' McSpangle's research was delayed because he was 'five minutes away.' He arrived the next day.