Professor Dingle McSpangle Proves That 'Five More Minutes' Is Actually A Cry For Help
'It's not about sleep,' McSpangle explained. 'It's about avoiding adult responsibilities.'
Professor Dingle McSpangle has decoded the true meaning of 'five more minutes.' 'It's a plea,' McSpangle explained. 'A desperate attempt to postpone existence.' The study found that 'five more minutes' correlates with 'I haven't processed my life choices' and 'the bed is the only safe place.' McSpangle's research was conducted from his mattress, where he remains. 'I'm still collecting data,' he said. 'Five more minutes.'