Professor Dingle McSpangle Discovers That Snooze Button Is Actually A Time Machine That Goes Backwards
'You press it at 7 AM and suddenly it's 6:45,' McSpangle explained. 'I've been late for work 47 times.'
Professor Dingle McSpangle has proven that the snooze button is a primitive time-reversal device. 'Each press sends you 9 minutes into the past,' McSpangle explained. 'But you remember the future, so you know you're going to be late.' The study found that 'one more snooze' creates a time loop. McSpangle has been stuck in 6:47 AM for three weeks. 'Send help,' he wrote. 'Also coffee.'