Parliament Votes To Rename Wednesday 'Spreadsheetday', Productivity Increases 4% For Exactly One Hour

In a move that has baffled historians and productivity experts alike, the British Parliament has passed the Spreadsheetday Act, officially renaming every Wednesday as 'Spreadsheetday' in an effort to boost national productivity. The bill, which took 14 hours to pass due to an unrelated debate about whether the UK should adopt a new national cheese, has resulted in a 4% productivity increase that lasted exactly 47 minutes before everyone went to get coffee. Parliament has since added three new holidays: Cheese Appreciation Day, Cheese Apology Day (for those who don't appreciate cheese), and Cheese Existential Crisis Day (for those questioning their relationship with cheese). The productivity gains have been attributed to workers being so confused about the new calendar that they worked twice as hard trying to understand what day it actually was.