New Invention Converts All Human Emotions Into Electricity, Currently Powers One City

Engineers at Boring Labs have invented a machine that converts human emotions directly into electricity, and it works better than anyone expected. The 'FeelingPower Generator' harnesses energy from collective anxiety, existential dread, Monday morning sadness, and that specific feeling you get at 3 PM on a Tuesday when you're questioning your life choices. The generator is currently powering a small city in Ohio, where residents report that 'the power grid has never been more stable' during the workweek. Residents contribute emotions through specially designed 'Feeling Stations' where they can go to 'fully embrace their despair' and power their homes. The company is now developing a consumer version that will allow individuals to 'fully experience their emotions and also charge their phones at the same time.'