New Fitness Trend: 'Complaining Workouts' Where You Only Exercise While Complaining

The Vocal Cardio movement has taken the fitness world by storm, offering workouts where participants only exercise while complaining about their lives. The most popular class, 'Treadmill Tantrums,' involves walking on a treadmill at moderate pace while verbally expressing all grievances. Instructors guide participants through phrases like 'My back hurts, my job is terrible, why is the wifi always slow' while maintaining a steady walking pace. The workout guarantees you burn 400 calories per session, with 200 calories burned from the walking and 200 from the emotional release. One participant said, 'I've never felt more fit or more bitter. It's like therapy but with sweat.' The movement has spawned related classes like 'Spin With Spite' and 'Angry Yoga: Screaming Into The Void Edition.'