New 'Adulting Class' Teaches Basic Life Skills, Sells Out Immediately Because Adults Can't Adult

The Adulting Academy has launched its flagship course 'How To Be A Functional Human' and sold out within 47 minutes of registration opening. The course covers essential adult skills that many adults apparently never learned, including 'how to iron a shirt without burning it,' 'how to cook an egg without crying,' 'how to make a phone call without having a panic attack,' and 'how to file taxes without assuming you'll go to jail.' One participant said, 'I'm 35 and I didn't know you weren't supposed to put metal in the microwave. This class has been life-changing.' The course costs $1,000 and has a 94% satisfaction rate, primarily because graduates feel 'less like failures.' The academy is now developing 'Advanced Adulting 2: What To Do When Everything Is On Fire,' a course specifically designed for people who have made several expensive mistakes.