McDonald's Introduces 'Quarter Pounder With Regret' Limited Edition Burger
Comes with existential dread sauce and a side of therapy fries.
The fast-food giant announced the new item after focus groups admitted their life choices. 'We heard you,' said a spokesperson wearing a sad clown costume. The burger includes extra pickles for that 'what am I doing with my life' tang. Nutritionists are horrified, philosophers are intrigued, and late-night customers are already forming long lines for the post-meal crying booth.