Mayor Orders All City Benches Removed After 3 People Were Seen Sitting, Calls It 'Disturbing Behavior'
Benches have been replaced with 'standing areas' and 'anxiety posts.' The mayor calls it 'progress.'
Mayor McBan removed all city benches after spotting 3 people sitting on a Tuesday. 'Sitting is suspicious,' the mayor said. 'It leads to loitering, thinking, and possibly community.' The benches have been replaced with 'standing areas' and 'anxiety posts.' Residents are confused. 'I just wanted to rest,' one said. 'Sitting is a luxury,' the mayor said. The city is now 'bench-free.' It is also 'friendship-free.'