Mayor Grumpypants McScowl Bans Yawning In Public, Calls It 'Aggressive Fatigue Display'
'Yawning is a threat,' the mayor scowled. 'You're basically saying 'I'm bored.' Which is rude.'
Mayor Grumpypants McScowl has banned public yawning, calling it 'contagious and confrontational.' 'You yawn, I yawn, now we're both tired and annoyed,' McScowl explained. Offenders must attend 'alertness training' or drink three cups of coffee on camera. 'I yawned accidentally,' one citizen said. 'Now I'm in yawning jail.' The mayor himself yawned during the press conference. 'That was a... stretch,' he claimed unconvincingly.