Mayor Grumpypants McScowl Bans Smiling Within City Limits
'Happiness is suspicious and probably unpatriotic,' the mayor declared.
Mayor Grumpypants McScowl has signed an executive order banning smiling within city limits, calling it 'disturbingly cheerful' and 'probably a foreign influence.' 'We are a community of neutral expressions,' McScowl scowled. Residents caught smiling face a fine or mandatory frowning lessons. 'I'm not happy about this,' said one resident, smiling nervously. The ban has been widely ignored, and McScowl is now considering banning 'excessive blinking' next.