Mayor Grumpypants McScowl Bans 'Happy Mondays,' Renames Them 'Tolerable Mondays'
'Overly cheerful optimism is suspicious,' the mayor scowled.
Mayor Grumpypants McScowl has banned the phrase 'Happy Monday' within city limits, replacing it with 'Tolerable Monday.' 'Enthusiasm before coffee is unnatural,' McScowl explained. Citizens caught saying 'Happy Monday' must attend 'neutrality training.' The local coffee shop now advertises 'Barely Awake Specials.' McScowl is now considering renaming Friday 'The Day That Eventually Comes.'