Mayor Grumpypants McScowl Bans 'Good Morning' Because 'No Morning Is Good'
Citizens must now say 'Tolerable Dawn' or face 'frown therapy.'
Mayor Grumpypants McScowl has banned the phrase 'good morning' within city limits. 'Morning is an assault,' McScowl scowled. 'We will say 'tolerable dawn' or nothing at all.' Citizens caught saying 'good morning' must attend 'cheerfulness rehabilitation.' The local coffee shop now offers 'Barely Acceptable Brew.' McScowl is now considering banning 'have a nice day' because 'that's presumptuous.'