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Man's 'I'm Just A Night Owl' Is Code For 'I Will Blame My 3 AM TikToks On Biology'

Man's 'I'm Just A Night Owl' Is Code For 'I Will Blame My 3 AM TikToks On Biology'
'It's my circadian rhythm,' Jake said. 'It's your choices,' his doctor said. 'My rhythm chooses this,' Jake said.

Jake NightOwl claims he's 'genetically nocturnal.' His screen time: 12 hours daily. 'I'm just wired differently,' Jake said at 3 AM, watching 'unexpected animal friendships.' His alarm goes off at 7 AM. 'I'm tired,' Jake said. 'It's biological.' His doctor suggested 'going to bed earlier.' 'That's not how it works,' Jake said. It is how it works. Jake is tired. 'It's my nature,' Jake said.

📅 5 days ago ⏱️ 64s read #Sleep#Procrastination#Satire
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.