Man's 'I'm Just A Night Owl' Is Code For 'I Stay Up Late Watching TikToks And Regret It Every Morning'
The cycle: 3 AM scrolling, 7 AM alarm, 11 AM 'I need coffee.' 'It's my circadian rhythm,' Jake said. 'It's your choices,' his doctor said.
Jake NightOwl claims he's 'genetically nocturnal.' His screen time says otherwise. 'I'm just wired differently,' Jake said at 3 AM, watching 'unexpected animal friendships' compilations. His alarm goes off at 7 AM. 'I'm tired,' Jake said. 'It's biological.' His doctor suggested 'going to bed earlier.' 'That's not how it works,' Jake said. It is how it works. Jake is tired.