Man Invents 'Email Auto-Responder' That Pretends He's Busy By Sending Random Excuses

Email-avoidance specialist Gary Busybody has created an auto-responder system that generates increasingly absurd excuses for why he can't respond to emails immediately. The system rotates through excuses like 'Currently in a meeting with the President,' 'Rescuing orphans from a burning building,' 'Meditating in a remote mountain monastery,' and 'Lost in a corn maze, send help.' One recipient said, 'I received an email saying Gary couldn't respond because he was 'currently wrestling a large fish for research purposes.' I believed it for 47 minutes.' The system also includes a 'severity dial' that adjusts excuse intensity based on the importance of the email. Low-priority emails get 'I'm in a meeting,' while urgent ones get 'I'm currently defusing a bomb, call back never.'