Man Creates 'Self-Driving Excuse Generator' For When He's Late To Things

Perpetually late professional Gary Lateman has created an app called 'Always Late Gary' that automatically generates excuses for his chronic tardiness. The app uses a sophisticated AI that monitors his location and generates believable excuses based on his actual situation. If he's 5 minutes late, the app sends 'Slight traffic, almost there!' If he's 30 minutes late, it sends 'Car trouble, taxi was slow, I'm learning from this.' If he's an hour late, it sends 'Family emergency, very serious, don't ask questions.' The app has been so effective that Gary has been promoted twice, with his boss saying 'Gary is always late but his excuses are always creative.' Gary has since started selling the app to other professionals, with the tagline 'Be Late, Not Lying.' He is currently writing a book called 'The Art of the Plausible Excuse.'