Influencer Launches Diet Plan Consisting Entirely Of Bragging About Not Eating

Social media influencer Bella Skinni has launched her groundbreaking new diet plan, the 'Celebrity No-Food Diet,' which promises to help followers lose weight through the revolutionary technique of simply not eating and telling everyone about it. The $499 program includes 47 video modules explaining how Bella maintains her figure by 'like, never eating, honestly' and 'just having a really fast metabolism, it's genetic.' Followers receive daily affirmations like 'I don't even want the cake, I'm literally above food' and 'I ate a grape once and felt guilty for three days.' Participants report losing zero pounds but gaining 'significant confidence in performing emotional eating disorders in public.' Bella's next program, 'Celebrity Sleep-All-Day Plan,' is set to launch next month at the low price of $799.