Hollywood Announces Live-Action Remake Of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Hires 47 Writers, 3 Directors

Streaming giant FlixPlus has announced a groundbreaking live-action adaptation of the classic game Rock, Paper, Scissors, with a budget of $400 million and a development process that has already lasted 6 years. The film, which will explore 'the complex moral implications of choosing paper over rock in a post-industrial society,' has hired 47 screenwriters, 3 directors, and one consultant specifically hired to explain what rock paper scissors is. The romantic subplot will follow Scissors' forbidden love for a stapler from the office supplies department, and whether their love can survive 'the ultimate betrayal of being chosen by a child during a game.' The studio describes the film as 'Shakespearean' and 'the most important cinematic achievement of our generation.' Critics have pointed out that the original game takes about 3 seconds to play, but executives insist there will be 'extensive character development.'