← Back to Factictionary
🎭 Satire

Gym Opens New 'Guilt Trip' Package: Charges You Whether You Come Or Not, Sends Passive-Aggressive Texts

Gym Opens New 'Guilt Trip' Package: Charges You Whether You Come Or Not, Sends Passive-Aggressive Texts
'We know you haven't been. We all know. The treadmill misses you. The treadmill is fine, actually.'

Bengaluru fitness chain IronMind Pro has launched a new membership tier called the Guilt Trip Package at Rs 2,500 per month — the same price as a standard membership — with one key difference: whether or not you visit the gym, you will receive two daily text messages reminding you that you haven't. Sample messages from the first week of pilot testing include: 'Just checking in! The treadmill hasn't seen you in 12 days. It's fine. It's not fine.'; 'Your January goals called. They wanted to confirm you've officially abandoned them.'; and, on day 20 of non-attendance, a single message reading: 'We respect your journey.' Sign-ups for the Guilt Trip Package have outperformed all other tiers by 340%. The gym has done nothing to explain this.

📅 3 days ago ⏱️ 68s read #Fitness#India#Satire#Relatable
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.