← Back to Factictionary
🎭 Satire

Guy Returns His Girlfriend's 'I Love You' Text, Demands A Refund For Emotional Investment

Guy Returns His Girlfriend's 'I Love You' Text, Demands A Refund For Emotional Investment
'The sentiment was defective,' Jake said. 'It didn't come with a warranty.' She blocked him. He's still waiting on a refund.

Jake McRefund responded to his girlfriend's 'I love you' text with: 'I'd like to return this feeling. It's not what I ordered.' She blocked him. 'I was just being honest,' Jake said. 'The emotional quality was subpar.' He has since filed a complaint with the 'Bureau of Feelings.' They're still processing. His ex is now dating someone who 'doesn't require a return policy.' Jake is alone. 'I'm just a consumer,' he said.

📅 4 hrs ago ⏱️ 66s read #Dating#Absurd#Satire
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.