Girlfriend's 'It's Not You, It's Me' Speech Was Actually About Her Horoscope, Not Him
Mercury was in retrograde. He was collateral damage.
Samantha Astrology broke up with her boyfriend because 'the stars said it's time for transformation.' 'It's not you, it's Mercury,' Samantha explained. Her ex, Jake Confused, has started learning about zodiac signs 'to understand what happened.' 'Apparently he was a Gemini rising or something,' Jake said. Samantha has already moved on to 'someone with better moon sign compatibility.' Jake is now seeing a therapist and an astrologist. Neither can help.