← Back to Factictionary
🎭 Satire

Girlfriend's 'I'm Fine' Is Accompanied By Aggressive Cleaning, He's Learned To Hide

Girlfriend's 'I'm Fine' Is Accompanied By Aggressive Cleaning, He's Learned To Hide
The vacuum is now a weapon. The dust is being punished for existing.

Jake Learns quickly: when his girlfriend says 'I'm fine' and starts cleaning, he leaves. 'She's not fine,' Jake said. 'The floors are.' The dust has been eradicated. The baseboards have been 'interrogated.' Jake has developed a 'fine scale': 1-3 = okay, 4-6 = vacuuming, 7-10 = he stays at a friend's house. His girlfriend is now in therapy. The therapist also vacuums when stressed.

📅 1 day ago ⏱️ 68s read #Relationships#Communication#Comedy
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.