General Clank Von Stomp Declares War On Furniture After Stubbing Toe On Coffee Table
The treaty demands all tables have padded corners and 'apologize in advance.'
General Clank Von Stomp has declared war on all furniture following a 'devastating attack' by his coffee table. 'We will not rest until every table leg has been neutralized,' he announced from his couch. The military strategy involves 'aggressive padding' and 'diplomatic negotiations with IKEA.' Furniture has remained silent, which Von Stomp interprets as 'suspicious.' A peace treaty is expected by next week, assuming he doesn't stub his other toe.