Football Team Loses Championship By Scoring Goal Too Early, Referee Rules It 'Unsportsmanlike Excited'

In what sports analysts are calling 'the most ridiculous call in the history of professional football,' the Confusedton United football team has been stripped of their championship title after scoring a goal in the 87th minute that referees deemed 'unsportsmanlike excited.' The goal, which would have won the match 3-2, was disallowed after the scorer celebrated by jumping, pointing to the sky, and performing what the referee described as 'an aggressive display of joy that violates the spirit of modest disappointment.' The match has been replayed three times, with Confusedton United losing all three games and the striker being suspended for 'emotional scoring.' Team captain Marcus Furious said, 'We won. We celebrated winning. This is somehow a crime. I don't understand sports anymore.' The referee has since been promoted to head of the newly created 'Emotion Regulation In Sports' department.