Ex-Couple's 'Custody Battle' Is Over A Plant They Bought Together 3 Years Ago
Fernando the Ficus has been subpoenaed. He's not doing well.
Emma and Jake Plantimony are fighting for custody of their shared houseplant, Fernando. 'I bought him,' Emma claims. 'I named him,' Jake counters. The plant has been relocated to a neutral location (a Starbucks) pending trial. Fernando is reportedly 'drooping under the pressure.' A plant psychologist has been called in. The judge has asked both parties to 'touch grass' — but not Fernando. He's evidence.