Every Aunty In India Simultaneously Declares She 'Made It Without Any Oil': Scientists Detect Anomaly

Instruments at CERN's Large Hadron Collider and three independent gravitational wave observatories registered an unexplained anomaly at exactly 1:14 PM IST on Sunday — a moment that has since been correlated with what sociologists are calling 'the Aunty Convergence': a synchronised event in which every aunty across the Indian subcontinent simultaneously declared that she had prepared the Sunday meal 'without any oil at all.' Analysis of the signal's signature suggests it was produced by a concentrated burst of declarative untruth delivered with complete conviction across approximately 340 million households simultaneously. 'In 40 years of particle physics,' CERN Director-General Fabricia Cannelloni told reporters, 'we have never seen anything like it. Also, we tried the sabzi. It absolutely had oil in it.'