Crispy McToast Opens Bakery That Only Sells Burnt Bread, Calls It 'Char-Coaled Artisanal'
Customers pay $15 for bread that is 'aggressively toasted' and 'carbon-positive.'
Crispy McToast has opened a bakery specializing exclusively in burnt bread, marketing it as 'char-coaled artisanal loaves.' 'Regular toast is boring,' McToast explained. 'Our bread is aggressively toasted.' Each loaf costs $15 and comes with a warning: 'May contain crunch, disappointment, and existential bitterness.' Critics call it 'inedible,' but McToast's customers are 'ironically invested.' The bakery's bestseller is 'Extra Crispy: The Ashes Collection.'