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Couple's 'Date Night' Is Eating Takeout In Silence While Scrolling Their Phones, Then Going To Bed

Couple's 'Date Night' Is Eating Takeout In Silence While Scrolling Their Phones, Then Going To Bed
They've been 'dating' for 2 years. They communicate via Instagram tags. Their therapist is 'concerned.'

Megan and Jake PhoneDating have perfected 'parallel play.' They sit together, scroll separately, and 'share' memes via DM — from across the couch. 'We're connected,' Megan said. 'Digitally,' Jake added. Their therapist asked them to 'talk.' They texted each other about it. 'It's efficient,' Megan said. Their friends have never seen them speak. 'I think they're fine,' one said. 'I think they're strangers,' another said.

📅 4 days ago ⏱️ 66s read #Relationships#Technology#Satire
⚠️ Satirical Content Disclaimer:
This article is a work of satire and parody. It is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Do not interpret this as factual news or accurate reporting.