Bing Bong Wobblypants Invents Colander That Strains Pasta, Also Your Emotions
'It drains the water and your will to live,' the packaging reads.
Bing Bong Wobblypants has invented a 'therapeutic colander' that strains pasta while also 'filtering out emotional baggage.' 'You'll feel lighter,' the instructions promise. Users report 'cleaner noodles but also existential clarity.' 'I cried into my spaghetti,' one user said. 'But it was a good cry.' Wobblypants is now developing a 'therapeutic blender' that 'processes your feelings into smoothies.'