Bing Bong McBoing Invents Shoes That Tie Themselves, Then Untie 'For The Drama'

Bing Bong McBoing has invented self-tying shoes that randomly untie themselves 'for dramatic effect.' 'Predictability is boring,' McBoing explained. 'You never know when you'll trip.' Users report a 'heightened sense of danger' and 'constant paranoia.' McBoing tripped over his own laces during the product launch. 'See? Drama,' he said from the floor. He's now working on 'emotionally unstable socks.'