Bengaluru Man Refuses Alien Abduction Citing 4,200 Unread Emails And A Sprint Review Tomorrow

Residents of Whitefield, Bengaluru, were left bewildered on Thursday evening when 34-year-old senior software engineer Rohan Sharma reportedly declined what eyewitnesses described as a 'completely unambiguous alien abduction attempt.' The spacecraft — a classic saucer shape with teal lighting and a gentle hum — hovered above Rohan's apartment for nearly 40 minutes while the tractor beam repeatedly failed to dislodge him from his Herman Miller chair. 'I genuinely cannot do this right now,' Rohan allegedly told the ship via hand gestures, pointing to his monitor which showed an OutBlocked inbox at 4,247 unread. The spacecraft eventually moved south toward Hyderabad, where sources say it had 'better luck with someone in product management who had cleared his inbox.'