Baron Von Snorefest Installs Bed With Seatbelt And Airbags 'For Aggressive Sleeping'
The bed also features a 'snooze parachute' in case of 'premature awakening.'
Baron Von Snorefest has unveiled a bed equipped with a 5-point harness, airbags, and a 'snooze parachute' for 'emergency naps.' 'Sleep is dangerous,' Von Snorefest explained from his horizontal cockpit. 'I've launched myself out of bed before. Never again.' The bed also has a 'breakfast catapult' that launches toast directly into your mouth. Von Snorefest hasn't left the bed in 14 days. 'I'm conducting research,' he claimed.