All-India Pigeon Union Threatens Indefinite Strike, Demands Frequent Flyer Miles Backdated To 1987
Spokesperson cooed aggressively at the press briefing, then pecked a journalist from The Hindoo Times.
The All-India Pigeon Workers' Union, representing an estimated 4.2 crore urban pigeons, called an indefinite strike beginning Monday after contract negotiations with municipal corporations broke down for the seventh consecutive year. Chief demands include: frequent flyer miles backdated to 1987, free grain at all government buildings, and formal recognition of 'cooing' as a protected form of speech. Union spokesperson General Flap — a veteran grey pigeon from CP — delivered the press statement via a series of increasingly aggressive coos before suddenly and purposefully pecking a senior journalist from The Hindoo Times on the wrist. The journalist later confirmed the peck was 'surprisingly pointed and felt deliberate.'